“How to talk to your daughter about her body, step one: don’t talk to your daughter about her body, except to teach her how it works.
Don’t say anything if she’s lost weight. Don’t say anything if she’s gained weight.
If you think your daughter’s body looks amazing, don’t say that. Here are some things you can say instead:
“You look so healthy!” is a great one.
Or how about, “You’re looking so strong.”
“I can see how happy you are – you’re glowing.”
Better yet, compliment her on something that has nothing to do with her body.
Don’t comment on other women’s bodies either. Nope. Not a single comment, not a nice one or a mean one.
Teach her about kindness towards others, but also kindness towards yourself.
Don’t you dare talk about how much you hate your body in front of your daughter, or talk about your new diet. In fact, don’t go on a diet in front of your daughter. Buy healthy food. Cook healthy meals. But don’t say “I’m not eating carbs right now.” Your daughter should never think that carbs are evil, because shame over what you eat only leads to shame about yourself.
Encourage your daughter to run because it makes her feel less stressed. Encourage your daughter to climb mountains because there is nowhere better to explore your spirituality than the peak of the universe. Encourage your daughter to surf, or rock climb, or mountain bike because it scares her and that’s a good thing sometimes.
Help your daughter love soccer or rowing or hockey because sports make her a better leader and a more confident woman. Explain that no matter how old you get, you’ll never stop needing good teamwork. Never make her play a sport she isn’t absolutely in love with.
Prove to your daughter that women don’t need men to move their furniture.
Teach your daughter how to cook kale.
Teach your daughter how to bake chocolate cake made with six sticks of butter.
Pass on your own mom’s recipe for Christmas morning coffee cake. Pass on your love of being outside.
Maybe you and your daughter both have thick thighs or wide ribcages. It’s easy to hate these non-size zero body parts. Don’t. Tell your daughter that with her legs she can run a marathon if she wants to, and her ribcage is nothing but a carrying case for strong lungs. She can scream and she can sing and she can lift up the world, if she wants.
Remind your daughter that the best thing she can do with her body is to use it to mobilize her beautiful soul.”
I have a ritual when I walk to my car at night.
I like to stare at my car for a good three seconds before I actually
move my feet
and I always hold the key in an uncomfortable position in between my fingers.
When I get about five feet to my car, I unlock and lock it again really quickly and at three feet I do the same thing.
I do not open the door immediately, but stand one foot away from the car for about two seconds, then I unlock it and open it. As soon as I get in, I press the lock button at least three times.
I am not obsessive compulsive and I am not afraid of the dark. I am woman.
I have been taught to be afraid.
Last week, a 22 year old man shot and killed several women in his hometown because he wanted to punish them for never sleeping with him,
for always rejecting him,
for saying no.
Just last month, a sixteen year old from Connecticut was murdered
when she didn’t want to go to prom with a fellow classmate.
In February, a seventeen year old girl was raped and brutally killed when she rejected the advances of several men in her area - her murderers texted her parents “We Have Killed Her to Teach Her a Lesson”
I took martial arts for eight years, but I am now afraid
to tell a man no.
The friendzone kills and I am tired of shouting to ears that
refuse to hear my pain and my fear.
You call me a feminazi and tell me I’m just being emotional,
“is it your time of the month” you ask while you laugh -
but when are you going to open your eyes and see
this is not an isolated incident
from some “psychopathic, depressed maniac”
this is my every day.
This is my flinch when they cat call, but I smile anyway.
This is my “Yes” when everything in me wants to say “No”
This is my fear.
This is your entitlement. Your rejected disappointment.
This is my death.
things you don’t point out about people:
- body hair in places you’re not used to it being???
- fat rolls/curves
- how much/how little they’re eating
- how skinny they are/what bones they can see because of how skinny they are
- How fat they are.
- If they have crooked or misaligned teeth maybe even yellowed
- If they sweat a lot
don’t do it
Kevin stresses me out so much but I also love him more than anything in the world so it is such a delicate balance